Wednesday, March 28, 2007

Plate Semi-Final

At home to the Sutton Club!

Inspired by the team's recent performance, Bob set off on a long-distance walking holiday - obviously the pressure's getting to him. His place was taken by Tony who is our regular reserve and always plays a great game.

So this was it - were we going to end up in the final again, to finish dead level and to lose with a cliff-hanger once more? Who could say. The Sutton Club are a well-respected team but were lacking the advantage of a home game. The Wonderers on the other hand are riding the trough of a wave with a hardly-dented record of repeated losses.

The questions were very good indeed and since they were all conferred (it has been noted that conferring is Nick's specialism) there was no opportunity for individual glory and the playing field was levelled.

So, defying predictions, continuity and trampling tradition into the dust the Wonderers managed to scrape home by winning 4 of the 6 rounds by a narrow margin in a game that was most enjoyable, broken by sufficient beer breaks and lightened by much humour, overseen by a flexible but fair question master from The Baths.
Thankyou Sutton Club - it was a great game.

We're moving towards the end of the season now in which the Wonderers have thoroughly enjoyed the challenge of playing in the A League - next season we're back in the B League but maybe for just one season - if we continue to be promoted/relegated each year we'll be vey happy.

Thursday, March 22, 2007

Castled and Rooked

Having rested the previous week, the Wonderers swaggered into The Castle looking refreshed , sporting a rather attractive blue tan from their action-filled journey from the Waters Green Tavern. Only about 50 yards but the howling wind and driving hail made every step an adventure.

Ah, The Castle - promoted to the A League with the Wonderers at the end of last season, and now precariously hanging onto their position one above the wonderers (i.e. next to bottom) despite having won three games. This was to be a game with no holds barred, no punches pulled, no quarter given. The Wonderers were at full strength with the added advantage of a groupie again (Nick's son Rah).

The tactics adopted were the same - allow The Castle a small advantage in the Specialist rounds confident of steaming ahead in the General Knowledge. This is a tried and tested formula that has consistently led to victory - for our opponents! And last night was no exception.

Final score was 156 to 115 with individual scores as follows:

Bob 15/12, Wendy 9/12, Nick 6/3 (pathetic - his son is looking for another team to support), Tomo 13/12.

Again good conferred points 12/11 (mainly thanks to Nick!) but little picked up from our opponents 2/3.

Ah well - the semi-final of the Plate next week - our more determined readers may recall that we began the season losing the Plate final on a tie-breaker setting a pattern that has been adhered to rigidly with just two lapses - consistent defeat with good humour and lots of beer.

The Castle is a wonderful old pub steeped in history, selling real ale (Theakston's) and with a very generous spper of hot meat pies.

A most enjoyable evening and for the most selfish of reasons we hope The Castle get relegated with us next season. Thankyou.

Wednesday, March 14, 2007

Duncan Steps In

As I've been away for a week, the news on the league has not been up-dated. Fortunately Duncan Disorderly the local minority sports writer was on hand to fill the gap.

By the way, an astonishing development - if you look at the Comments on the questions for 6th March (link on right) you will see that our obscure scribblings in this tiny corner of Cheshire were picked up by a scholar in Idaho who gently corrects an answer!!


A report on recent earth-shattering events by Macclesfield Minority Sports reporter Duncan Disorderly

Just when I thought that I had finally extricated myself from the purgatory of reporting the utterly predictable defeats of the Waters Green Wonderers, all hell seems to have broken loose. Following the defeat by the Dolphin I insisted on an interview with my Editor, R Supwards, and insisted on being reassigned from the Macclesfield Quiz League. I told him that I had covered the Wonderers for half the season and my penance had been duly served, and that I never meant to prang his bloody car in the first place. The going had been tough and I had completely lost the will to live.

After gloating a bit he took pity on me and got me off the case. I couldn’t tell you how relieved I was. In the intervening two weeks I covered the quarter-finals of the Macclesfield one-hand freestyle crochet championships and the preliminary rounds at the Pott Shrigley Noughts and Crosses Festival, both of them much more exciting than listening to the Waters Green Team muttering that they were alright really….. keeping a stiff upper lip….the experience was good for them…even enjoying it in a funny kind of way….when all the time they were devastated and making their packets of crisps soggy with their loser’s tears. I say packets of crisps because that’s all that Tracey and Brian will provide for them until they buck their ideas up.

So you can imagine the torment when I was summoned back to the office from a particularly exciting heat of the Upton Priory Shove-halfpenny Fest. “Grab your pen”, cried my frantic Editor, “the Wonderers have turned the corner”. His enthusiasm turned out to be a little premature. It was true that the Wonderers had won – they had beaten the Bath in the Plate (or was it the plate in the bath). I knew the Bath team well – at least the only one of them that turned up. This team used to be the Beehive, one of the Wonderers favourite opposing teams – many a good night spent in combat and all that - but they were so under-strength on the night it wasn’t true. One of the team had only popped into the pub to ask directions to Buxton, and the other was a passing Pork-Scratching salesman. But heigh-ho, a win is a win, and the team left the venue with something I hadn’t seen before – the smiles of winners. I was not convinced that the team had at last turned the corner and I turned up the following week fearing the worst. To save time I had already written the report – how their Plate win had been a complete fluke and they had been crushed by the second best team in the whole League. And then the unthinkable happened. They won! At the end of the match, both teams were reduced to a stunned silence for very different reasons, I had to rip up my notebook, sandwiches and pork pies replaced the bags of crisps, and the look of hope shone in the eyes of the beleaguered Wonderers.

All this, of course, was a slap in the face to Billy Prattlefaggit, who is currently putting together a rival team. He suddenly became a little quieter, particularly about the clandestine offer he had made to Tommo to poach him from the Wonderers. He had offered our rising young star as many Twiglets as he could eat and a guaranteed Saturday Night audience at the Hurdsfield Darby and Joan Club whenever Tommo felt the urge to do his magic tricks. I have heard on the grapevine that the other Waters Green players got wind of this illegal approach and had a meeting with Tommo to discuss the situation. It was made clear to him that if he as much as thought of jumping ship, Wendy would break his pencil, Bob would break his legs, and Nick would show him a magic trick involving a large disappearing cucumber.

Come the next week though, all was well. They were thrashed by the best in the land. They have reverted to type and I am stuck with reporting their antics again.
Still, Mark Watson does a brilliant job of e-mailing fixtures and results, so I am saved the arse-ache of doing all that. Mind you, I still think he should be concentrating on the current crime wave. One of my mates in the Pig and Ball Bearing was telling me about these two youths who were terrorising his neighbourhood. One was drinking battery acid and the other was eating fireworks. The police charged one and let the other off.

Be brave and remember – if you think nobody cares about you, try missing a couple of mortgage payments.

Duncan Disorderley

Wednesday, March 07, 2007

Lightning Does Strike Twice

Despite folkore, the Waters Green Tavern proved last week that lightning does strike the same place twice.

Not only did the Wonderers win their first League game of the season, but their sister team the Rams also won their game. both teams thereby breaking their duck.

This week the Wonderers returned to form in an enjoyable game against the Dolphin the final scores being 153 to the Wonderers' 106. Tomo was at a book-signing in London and could not play but Wendy's husband Ken stepped in and played a strong game, particularly in the conferred questions.

Individual scores were Ken -/6, Wendy 9/18, Nick 6/9 and Bob a worthy 15/15.
An enjoyable game with the usual excellent supper provided by the Tavern