Wednesday, November 15, 2006

NO BULL AS THE OX-FFORD FFINISH OFFF FFIGHTING WONDERERS.

Last night's game as seen by Independent Macclesfield Minor Sports reporter Duncan Disorderly

By the end of the first specialist round I noticed that the Ox-fford were looking a bit sick as the Waters Green Wonderers had built a lead – of one. Then it turned out that the looks on their faces was caused by the fact that this is a Jennings pub. Jennings is that Lakeland beer with more bloody hops in it than a bucket of frogs. So I settled down with my John Smith’s shandy and concentrated on what was a good set of questions, put well and with good humour by Alan Hodgson. (I know it’s early in the season but are the questions getting better?). There was humour in the questions too, one of them asking them what the nickname of bomber Richard Reid was, and another asking who the Home Secretary was, adding a note that they were not related.

My reporting instinct to the fore, I took the opportunity to ask Alan Hodgson about his recent record-breaking achievement in scoring the first maximum 60 points individual score in the Macclesfield Quiz League. At least I think it is a record. I have been in the Macclesfield Quiz League now for twenty years (I am still searching for a life) and I cannot remember this feat ever having been achieved. Are there any players who have played (continuously) for even longer?

Modest as ever, Alan insisted that a free pint from all members of the opposition teams throughout the season would be an adequate tribute. The answer he got from the Ox-fford involved too much sex and travel to include here.

As a responsible and highly-unpaid journalist I have been doing some research into the nature of quiz questions. Starting at the most simple form, I boned up on what some well-known people said when asked why the chicken crossed the road –

Darwin:
It was the logical next step after coming down from the trees.
Chickens, over great periods of time, have been naturally selected in such a way that they are now genetically dispositioned to cross roads.
Sigmund Freud:
The fact that you are at all concerned that the chicken crossed the road reveals your underlying sexual insecurity.
As an expression of the repressed desire to have sex with its mother. The road symbolises the barrier presented by the cultural taboo.
Jeffrey Archer: It didn't. I was playing golf with it at the time.
Stevie Wonder:Chicken, what chicken?

Anyway, back to the quiz. Early optimism was ill-founded as it was just about all over by the end of the specialists. These A League wallahs never send anything our way – only 8 passed-over points for the Wonderers all evening - miserable gits.


Duncan’s Digest:

Score: Ox-fford 179 WG Wonderers 146
Marks for Questions: Specialist 4 and 4: General Knowledge 3 and 4
Highlight: A really well thought out and enjoyable “Round with a Bite.”
Lowlight: A question asking what bit of the huge British Empire was
coloured pink and green on the map. This was not British
Beer: See Above.
Refreshments Good
Parking Iffy

Here is a question to keep you all going until my next gripping report.

Which football player of the 1980s, who played for ten clubs, including Everton, Leeds, Newcastle, both Sheffield clubs, and Manchester City, had a brother who was one of the most well-known Hollywood film stars ever?

Well done to the ffin Ox-fford!

That’s all for now and remember, if you want peace and quiet, get a phoneless cord.

Duncan

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