Sunday, May 07, 2006

Making Recruits

The blog has awakened some interest already - here is a mail I received:

"Dear Nick

I hope you don’t mind my writing to you. It’s just that the other night I was surfing the www and happened across your site quite by accident. I thought it said “Nick’s Quickie Site”, and was a little disappointed but decided to investigate further. I know that there is not much to read at yet but I was very taken by the photograph. You all seem a jolly lot and I wonder if I might make friends with you all as I do not have many friends. I tried to imagine which one on the photograph was you and I guess you are the good-looking one with the beard and glasses who is sat in front of the mysterious Russian spy. The lady on the picture looks very nice too, a bit like my Auntie Joan only without the straight-jacket.

I was wondering if you were in need of a Quiz League reporter for next season. This would brighten up your site over the long winter nights and my fee would not be too large. You see I recently lost my job and need to earn a few readies to pay for my treatment etc. The circumstances of my losing employment are, I am sure you will agree, very sad, and will cause you and your friends to consider my request with some sympathy. For some years up until last summer I worked as a thistle-cutter in a nudist camp. This was fine and well within my capacity but one day, being short staffed, the owners told me to devise and organise a sports day at the camp. I managed to get the men’s nude sack race going, using large clear polythene bags. This was a success, though it was a nightmare for me to hold the finishing tape – it looked like sacks of King Edward’s leaping towards me. Things went really wrong in the men’s nude 4x400 yard baton relay race. There was a terrible mix-up on the third lap and one man was dragged along for 150 yards before anyone realised what the problem was. So that was the end of that job. However, I know that I could be a really good reporter and friend for your quiz team so perhaps you will consider my request and let me know. I could also meet you all and play in reserve from time to time. Although people say I am not too bright I do know that the capital of Chile is Concarne.

Yours hopefully

Ed Banger."

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